Wednesday, June 18, 2008

I've got a hand full of dreams and a heart full of God.

This camp is pretty amazing--who knew workcamp could be enjoyable as a summer staff?! Haha. Like I said before, I'm so grateful for the difference this summer is from two summers ago. Almost everything is perfect.

I say almost because last night I found myself missing Spring Hill. I was sulky, to say the least, especially as I listened to Tiffany talk about all the campers shes met and such. It makes me miss my campers as a counselor last summer. I miss inside jokes and gaining their approval as a counselor. As a red shirt staff, I don't get that same sort of affirmation. I shouldn't need it...but it's a struggle as I wish for it.

I also don't feel challenged spiritually here--but I guess that in itself is the challenge. At Spring Hill, I felt constantly challenged in my spiritual and prayer life because I was so aware of the impact it would have on my girls if I wasn't. Here, I don't feel that need, so in turn, I don't meet the challenge. God is using me in a different way this summer and I'm not sure how to meet it. I forget quiet time and it scares me that I'm not striving for it...

Lately I am constantly searching for my purpose here...I'm just unsure..."

I was sicky on Monday with some sort of tummy aches and I'm still exhausted from it, so I'm sure that has something to do with my contemplative mood recently.

The package I received from home and a note from a friend made me smile today (not that I need reasons to smile!), but thank you!

miss you.